Are You My Kind of Mom?
Moms make the world go round. But there's a certain type of mother who gets to be part of my world. Is that you?
I’m just going to say it: Making mom friends is weird, right? There are hours of small talk on the pickup line, the soccer field, or during the library playgroup. Until one day, your prospective friend finally lets something somewhat unguarded slide, and you think, “Yasssssss, you’re my kind of mom!”
What’s my role in friend-making? I may come across as friendly and chatty (do I?), but I’m pretty shy and introverted, and I dread awkward social exchanges. If I feel comfortable around you, you get my more outgoing side. It just may take a while to get there. (And if you’re not getting it, say something wildly inappropriate, and we’ll be besties for life.)
So who is my kind of mom? Funny you asked! Here’s an obnoxiously long list of what I look for in a mom friend.
My kind of mom is…
-the mom who isn’t afraid to admit she doesn’t have it all together.
-the mom who never stops trying to get it together.
-the mom who knows how to drop a well-timed expletive.
-the mom who never curses and uses words and phrases like “freaking” and “oh, my goodness.” (I used to be her two kids ago—and sometimes still am—so she especially tugs at my heartstrings.)
-the mom who always has frozen chicken nuggets stashed in her freezer for the nights she doesn’t have it in her to cook.
-the mom who considers corn a veggie. (I mean it is—nutritional value or not.)
-the mom who painstakingly plans and preps meals to ensure her kids are getting healthy, balanced ones.
-the mom who has a house cluttered with kid stuff—and she doesn’t apologize for it.
-the mom who keeps her house immaculate because it makes her feel calm and focused—and she doesn’t apologize for it.
-the mom who wants to go out to a dive bar and dance to 90s hip-hop with all her mom friends (pre-COVID life, of course).
-the mom who favors a Friday night on the couch with bad TV.
-the mom who feels really overwhelmed at Costco. (Does anyone need a jar of peanut butter that big?)
-the mom who has a serious food-shopping system (and so never runs out of toilet paper).
-the mom who can be heard yelling on their kid’s FaceTime and can laugh about it.
-the mom who is mortified that she was just heard yelling on her kid’s FaceTime.
-the mom who always texts friends for intel on homework, PTA deadlines, and what the school is serving for lunch that day.
-the mom who ALWAYS has the answers to those questions. (We love those moms.)
-the mom who sends inappropriate memes and likes even more inappropriate music.
-the mom who blasts Kidz Bop in her car (even when the kids are long gone).
-the mom who runs late to everything.
-the mom who is first in the pickup line because she knows late gives her child anxiety.
-the mom who puts herself first through exercise and healthy eating.
-the mom who is first to grab a slice of pizza at a kid party (I really love that mom).
-the well-read mom who always has a book recommendation.
-the mom who has been trying to finish that 500+ page Kristin Hannah book for two years now.
-the mom who isn’t afraid to ask her mom friends for help.
-the mom who never asks why—only, “how can I help?”
The list can go on, but I'll cut it short because I’m the kind of mom who uses Substack to procrastinate on actual work. If you see yourself in any of these descriptions, we can be friends. If we’re already friends IRL, know that I couldn’t do this motherhood thing without you. And if you want to be friends, send me a text that includes a least one curse word, an inappropriate song lyric, and one NSFW meme—all while you’re heating a meal of chicken nuggets with a side of corn.